Sometimes we wonder why we actually need comedy, well the fact remains that comedy and stand-up comedians funny sayings are among the things that help us cope with the difficulties of living. Of course, what is a comedy without a talented comedian? Modern Stand-up Comedy has been wedging itself into popular culture in several centuries and to this day, it has become an integral part of our modern society.
Successful stand-up comedians do more than plain slapstick humour, they open up minds, bring about social awareness inspire and change the perspectives of their audience. When these qualities come together, the outcome is exceptionally meaningful and stirring. Hence, when you come across great standup comedians like Ali Wong, Luis C.K, Kevin Hart, Chris Rock and Robin Williams, you celebrate them for they play a great role in lightning up our world through humour. To further enjoy some of these hilarious sayings, here is a list of the top stand-up comedians funny sayings and quotes to lighten your mood.
Famous Stand-up comedians funny sayings and Quotes
1. “Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb.” ~ Louis C.K.
2. Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” ~ Mindy Kaling
3. You know, a lot of people think that just ’cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you’ll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were. ~ Gabriel Iglesias
4. “As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.” ~ Mel Brooks
5. Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn’t want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe
having a baby ~ Howie Mandel
6. Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. ~ Chris Rock
7. I was married by a judge, I should have asked for a Jury ~ Groucho Marx
8. “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” ~ Lily Tomlin
9. The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bull shit.” ~ Richard Pryor
10. “Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn’t even on.” ~ Amy Poehler
11. “I found a gray hair one of my testicles today. No, it wasn’t mine, but it’s frightening.” ~ Dave Attell
12. Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most importantly, laugh at yourself.” ~ Chelsea Handler
13. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.” ~ Lewis Black
14. “Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.” ~ Bill Cosby
15. There are 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There’s big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn ~ Gabriel Iglesias
16. You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult. All your IDs, all your credit cards – just run out of the house with no phone, turn the corner where you can’t see your house, and not have a full-on panic attack~Bill Burr
17. “‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none per cent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’” ~ Louis C. K.
18. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” ~ Robin Williams
19. “Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.” ~ Robin Williams
20. “I don’t think you get successful to brag and throw what you have in the world’s face. That’s all private.” ~Kevin Hart